Sphinx

There are many things, both serious and funny, to be said about the new advert from The Gap allegedly showing the ‘Tenure-Track Professor’ look, complete with one of the most hilariously appalling bits of advertising copy ever. Many of these things are specific to the US, to early career academics, and above all to female academics, and the following ramblings are basically tangential to all that; but thinking about academics and clothes did bring to mind the time I was interviewed by a student newspaper as part of their regular fashion column.

Deal with that for a moment – especially if you’ve known me for a while. For at least two-thirds of my adult life I dressed appallingly, without a clue – to say nothing of the haircuts. The fact that things have improved in recent years is due almost entirely to my wife taking me in hand, establishing some minimum standards and accidentally unleashing the hidden peacock (well, within limits), such that I not only take some care over my personal appearance, at least on work days, but have even been known to spend serious money on select items of clothing, with only minimal bullying.

The point isn’t that it’s ludicrous to ask me about the jacket I’m wearing; it’s rather that, if even I can get my act together and look as if I’ve made an effort, then the bar is not being set very high – so why does this remain rare among male academics? It’s been regularly observed that men have it incredibly easy in universities when it comes to dress – they’re automatically ascribed more authority, they’re much less likely to be judged on appearance, and there are basic principles which it’s hard to get wrong – and yet time and again they fail to meet even minimal expectations. Claims of having one’s mind on higher things as a cover for sheer laziness? Deeply embedded puritanism? Dominant male primate behaviour, treating the lecture theatre as part of the home territory?

One obvious point is that the medium is the message, and male academics seem both to get and not to get this. On the one hand, they clearly dress in full awareness of their advantages within the academy – or at least knowing that this is something they don’t really have to worry about. On the other hand, most of the time they seem to assume that clothing is invisible in the way that traditional historians think their prose is, i.e. you don’t notice it unless it does something dramatic and unexpected; of course it’s necessary to wear some, but its purpose is not to draw attention to itself (absolutely the opposite) but to work as a neutral medium for communicating ideas and information.

But, like academic prose, clothing communicates multiple things at once – and meaning is realised at the point of reception. The male academic may assume that the message of his outfit is “nothing to see here, let’s focus on the ideas”, but it’s equally possible to read it as “I don’t care, and I don’t have to care”, not to mention “I really wish I was still a student”, “I’m actually rather a dull person” and “Deep Purple were awesome!” If that’s the message you want to convey to your students, fine – and, yes, there’s always the risk that paying attention to clothes in an academic context communicates not only “I respect you enough to make an effort” but also “I don’t take things entirely seriously”, “I have more money than sense” and/or “Well, hello there…”. The point is that there are always multiple messages – and taking refuge in the standard academic uniform works just because your outfit is then saying exactly the same things as everyone else – including the counterproductive ones.

And on that uniform… The great Tim Whitmarsh remarked recently on the experience of wearing a suit a lot for his latest series of international academic rock star gigs, and the way it makes him look like he could influence elections. Hmm. Well, yes, that’s the point: instant authority, based on subsuming oneself into the long tradition of powerful men wearing suits and ties, just as a shabby tweed jacket works for academics by tapping into the reservoir of cultural stereotypes for academics. It’s the Men In Black principle: erasure of personality in order to become a faceless instrument of established authority.

To which the only reasonable answer is the Will Smith Principle: I make this look good. I mean, it isn’t hard. If it’s The Only Suit You’ll Ever Wear, get one that fits properly. If you’re going to wear the same jacket for weeks on end, you can afford to get a nice, expensive jacket – or even a couple of nice, expensive jackets, to introduce a bit of variety. Female academics have to think about their outfits every day; we men can stagger the public with our fashion sense just by varying the colour of our shirts from time to time. And in the Land of the Bland, the man with the DuChamp tie is Fashion King… Get respect for your ideas and your blazer choices!